DnD Wife Stories

Tobias had finished cleaning up after preparing all the food for tomorrow. He was now setting up the display menu and advertisement outside his cart when a ragtag group of people approached him. He had jut finished locking everything up when he noticed the three strangers. One of them spoke up with a meek voice,

“Uh excuse me, ug Mr. Beast Man, would you uh perhaps be able to serve us? We can’t seem to be able to find anyone willing. Some said you could perhaps be desperate enough to assist us.”

Things were quiet and tense for a moment before the person quickly added,

“I meant no disrespect of course. Is is just based on what we were told by that Tuskari fellow we ran into earlier. He said something about a very scraggly cat person. You do appear to have a food cart yes?”

Tobias thought about it for a moment, eyeing the newcomers in silence. He calculated in his head to see if he had enough left over to feed them.

The silence unnerved them however,

“My apologies. Grindlethorpe do you think he can understand what I’m saying?”

“Well, my studies do show that the Myr’Rin have language but they often also communicate in a series of hisses or growls. Perhaps just grrr at him and he might understand?”

The other fellow looked uncomfortable before turning and back to Tobias and opening his mouth,

“Grr, grr grrrr gr grrr.”

He looked up at Tobias afterward with a furious blush on his face.

Tobias turned around and roared as loud as he could in response. They two men began. It was a blade was being held by the third member of the newcomer group. She cooed at Tobias with a gentle but deadly voice. Luna began to inch her way behind the woman.

One of the men, the smaller Bogbean sized one, was on his butt. He was trying to crawl away while not taking his eyes off of Tobias. There was a sort of stalemate until Drexla came zipping out from the top of the wagon where she had seen the entire interaction occur. She flew right up to the bladed woman and held a crossbow to her eye.

“Perhaps you should remove that blade from my friend’s throat before something happens we both regret.”

Luna took the cue, activated her hair, causing it to elongate and scooped up the smaller man with her glowing locks. The taller man was slowly being relieved of his friends so he began to protest. He pulled back his hood revealing a slick head of black hair. His clothing was well made and well used, lined with fur for a long journey. His jaw was chiseled but was beginning to be overrun with stubble. His hands were up and from his neck a white creature also raised itself into the air in alarm and surrender.

“We are not here for trouble,” he explained, “it was just a misunderstanding, just a confusion in the language! Kibana! Put it down. They are no threat. We are here as guests and, as they’ve told us, they’ll kill us if we kill any of their own! So, put it down!”

At this point he was sweating profusely and shaking with the stress of the situation. The bladed lady sheathed her sword and pulled back her hood, revealing crimson skin and horns reaching upwards from her temple. Her entire body clanked as she put away her weapon. Drexla caught the glint of polished armor beneath the cloak. Strange markings covered the metal.

The shorter of the men was trying to free himself from the grasp of Luna’s hair. It flailed around him trying to find purchase as he squirmed,

“Ah, no, no thank you!”

The short man danced away from Luna, managing to outmaneuver her hair tendrils. In the process she managed to snag his coat and revealed what he wore. He was a stout man with a poof of red hair on his head and a matching beard. The man wore a uniform of sorts with medals and patches on the coat to denote rank. He rolled away and came up with his hands up and a disarming smile.

“No, no, we are just emissaries! We are only looking for food to eat because no one seems to want to feed us or accept our coin! Please.”

Drexla eased her stance a bit, lowering her crossbow from the woman who appeared to be a Helscarred. She was still not happy that a Hume was there but she held her tongue and relaxed her aggression a bit. The Hume saw this and began to introduce himself.

“Well, my name is Hamptony, nice to meet you!”

Luna handed him back his coat as he dusted himself off.

“Ah thank you, thank you. These are my compatriots. They are traveling with me. We mean you no harm.”

He stepped back in a respectful manner. Tobias saw this and responded with a warm smile,

“Like you said, language barrier. I thought you spoke Rhomar. I was giving you a proper greeting.”

“Ah so you do speak the common tongue. You got me.” Hamptony’s tone was not amused.

“Haha yea, it is pretty common.”

“Right, we thought so. Well, um, food? We have gold!”

Tobias looked at Hamptony for a moment before shrugging and heading into the cart. Hamptony looked confused.

“Is that a yes? A no? What am I supposed to do here?”

“Come on over, come on over. I will prepare something.”

“Ah good!”

He dusted himself off and gathered himself before heading over to the cart.

“None of you are vegetarian right?”

“Well, Sigmund sometimes prefers it, but he will eat meat every now and then.” Hamptony stroked the white creature at his neck with affection. It was a long white ferret wearing a green wool turtleneck. Luna’s cat hissed at the ferret and Drexla sized the ferret’s Hume up.

“Holy shit! Where did you come from?” He yelled as he saw Drexla hovering nearby with an itchy trigger finger. He jumped where he stood but did not run.

“What the hel are you?”

“You’re worst nightmare if you insult my friend again.”

“Ah, um, is that what I think it is? That’s a, that’s a, fairy isn’t it?”

“Well no, she’s got mechanical wings doesn’t she? Not real wings.” Luna replied with a flippant air.

“Grindlethorpe? Ah, help?”

The smaller man stepped forward to look closer at Drexla. He brought out a monocle with with to observe her closer. In answer, Drexla dropped her magnifying goggles to observe him with the same scrutiny.

“Hmm. I don’t know what it is. It seems to have no magical capabilities whatsoever!”

“See, can’t be Fae,” added Luna.

“At least a weird one.”

“From what I’ve read, they need magic to live. They would die without it.”

“Do you have proof of this? Scholarly sources?”

“Where? Here? How would anyone here know? What scholarly sources?”

“There are plenty, books, and essays. Why, I’ve written a few of them myself!”

“Have you ever seen one?”

“Well, I’ve seen depictions in books and specimens in jars.”

“Have you ever seen one without wings?

“Well, most of the time the specimens come without the wings. The wings are usually taken prior to preservation as they produce a powerful component.”

“Yea, I don’t have any of those.” added Drexla.

“That’s a shame.”

“Then I must not be Fae.”

V stepped in to defend his newest crew member. “The description doesn’t match so you must have the wrong person.” He gave the three strangers his cruelest look.

“We are merely guests here.” Hamptony was quick to try and diffuse the situation after the earlier misunderstanding and let it go.

“You said you were emissaries. Where from?” asked Tobias.

“We are here to, well, find some help.”

“With what?”

“Well have you heard much about the Scalekin invasion that is currently ongoing?”

“This is the first I am hearing of this.”

“Sure,” added Luna, being a bit more knowledgeable of the goings on in the Hume continent.

Yes, well, the eastern continent of Lamarha, there are constant seiges on the Hume settlements along the southern coast. We know it is only a matter of time before they completely take over the coast. My country of Rashlem knows it is also only a matter of time before we experience the same. So we were hoping we could perhaps find some assistance here. We were told the Tus-ka-ri, the large ones with the ears, that they were in charge. We were hoping to speak to someone of authority to request aid from but we’re not really liked here we found.”

“Sorry to say my friend but it is mostly you. The others are alright but you are particularly disliked.”

“Me why me, I haven’t done anything!”

“Hey don’t yell at me. They don’t like me either, why do you think I’m over here and they sent you to me?”

“Actually,” Luna interjected, “he gets treated worse than you.”

“It could be worse.” Tobias shrugged.

“Well, you mentioned something about food? It has been some time since we have eaten a proper meal. No one has been forthcoming with food either. It’s been at least five days.”

Upon hearing that Tobias began to work on their meal immediately.

“Oh you must be starving!” exclaimed Luna.

“Yes, you could say that.”

Behind him Grindlethorpe spoke up.

“I told you. The nutrition bars I have are perfectly balanced for everything a body needs to function. Food is irrelevant when these will satisfy the hunger and keep us alive! Just mind the taste.”

The female warrior shook her head vigorously.

“I will not eat those things again.” She turned to Tobias in desperate plea. “Food? Food? My apologies for the blade. You see, I am tasked with protecting the young prince here.”

“Oh prince? Nice to meet you.”

“Ahem, dammit!”

“Oh a prince!” exclaimed Luna in surprise.

“Only the fourth prince. Nothing to shake a ham at, but I am Hamptony Leemax, at your service.”

“He is the fourth prince of the esteemed country of Rashlem!

“Yes, but I was merely sent here as a bargaining chip by my father, but we all have daddy issues, now is not the time to discuss those things! I am joined by my steward Kibana Kubernetes, and this is from the organization C.O.G, Constable Grindlethorpe Thistlespine.”

The man stepped forward with pride.

“Aye that’s me! Master Inventor and Researcher, unfortunately sent to guard this welp and show him the ropes along with a right proper education!” Grindlethorpe pulled two medals from his chest and proclaimed with pride,

“This one is for knowledge and this one is for bravery!”

Behind him Hamptony was rolling his eyes and shaking his head in embarrassment. He did look a bit ridiculous in all his regalia in the MyrRin continent. The wolf’s head at his shoulder certainly had not been hunted by him. It seemed he even had a built in perch for the ferret at his shoulder. It was ready for his furry companion to rest upon at all times. Grindlethorpe looked up as his stomach growled.

“So, food?”

“It is being prepared.”

“I know, I know, but we are just so hungry!”

“Here, here,” Luna offered, “sit by the fire.”

“Yes, thank you.”

The emissaries made themselves comfortable by the fire in eager anticipation of their meal. Drexla used her goggles to scope out their abilities for magic. They were all glowing with magic items and the even the ferret had a bit of magic itself. Kibana gad some magic ability herself. They were all very capable despite their disarming natures and they could be great allies or great obstacles. Only time would tell.